Recently

Just wanted to post about some of the things we've done recently. One night Chis and I went to his Grandma and Grandpa's and went swimming in their pool. It was so nice, we hadn't been able to do that in awhile. On the way there we stopped and took this picture of Shoshone Falls. Usually we see them from a different place, but they were really pretty from this view. 

 Last weekend Chris went camping with my dad and brothers and they had tinfoil dinners, and ever since then, Chris wanted them again. So Monday night we went to his dad's to cook them (with the dogs and llamas) :)

 They turned out delicious!

 Sunday we had dinner at my sister's house and played a good game of Boccee Ball.

 Halli loves to pose for the camera and this was her new pose. I don't know where she learned that.

Kelsi graduated from Seminary-we are so proud of her!

 Chris' sister Courtney is a senior as well and we thought that we were going to both of their graduations, but when we got there realized that they were separated by stakes. So we didn't get to see Courtney but we are proud of her too!

 Lately I have had more energy and last week I made a good meal for the first time in a long time: chicken pot pie! It is one of Chris' favorites. We have really appreciated all the meals that have been brought to us but it was nice to eat something we are used to. I have cooked a couple times since then and love that I am getting my energy back!

 I also made a bunch of thank you cards (we had a lot of people to thank). It was fun but I'm glad they are all done now!

Last week was a little rough. First off, on Tuesday I went out to our mailbox to mail the thank you cards, and on the way back I tried to take a big step/hop over a line of ants (I wasn't wearing any shoes). Well turns out my legs still aren't as strong as I thought they were and so my knees were bent and I didn't have the strength to straighten them, so I stumbled and fell and hit my jaw on the cement front porch and bruised it, and scraped my wrist pretty good. I also ended up with a pretty good bruise on the side of my hip and a couple on my leg. It hurt pretty bad. I sat on the ground for a minute or so and then scooted myself onto the steps and stood up and went inside....then I cried. :) Mostly just from emotions I think, it kind of scared me and frustrated me. But I was ok and I got over it.

Wednesday afternoon we went to watch our nephews play baseball (my nephew Kalan was playing Chris' nephew Calvry). I was kind of not feeling well and was really tired but I wanted to go anyway. I only last about 20-30 minutes before I had to leave. When I got home I had really bad body aches and I had a fever. I took tylenol but it took the rest of the night for the fever to go away. I went to bed and the the next day I woke up and felt fine. Friday I went to a pizza party they had at work (to celebrate being fully staffed again since I was coming back, the girl who had been on maternity leave was coming back, and we hired someone new). Afterwards I drove to Burley to stay at my mom's while Chris went camping with my dad and brothers. About the time I got there I started not feeling well again and had really really bad body aches and chills. My brothers Kyler and Kelby gave me a blessing before they left to go camping and I felt a little better the rest of the night but I didn't feel like going and doing anything so my mom picked up some food from Taco Bandido and a Redbox movie for us and we stayed home and watched that. During the night I had a pretty upset stomach and was nauseated. The next day I had a fever most of the day and stayed in my pajamas and slept. Chris drove to Burley and got me because I didn't think I would be able to drive home. I think it must have just been a touch of the flu, but it was kind of weird. Saturday night I started to feel better and Sunday was much better. I was mad because my mom and I didn't get to do any of the things we had planned and we had planned to go to Chris' dad's and play games with his siblings Saturday night but had to stay home. I guess my immune system isn't quite up to snuff.

This week has been much better-I was able to go back to work! Good thing too because my FMLA ran out and I had used all the paid hours I was allowed from the Employees Helping Employees. I worked for about 4 hours Monday (mostly just checking 3 months worth of emails), 5 hours Tuesday, and 3 hours Thursday. I was afraid that I was not going to remember how to do anything, but it was just like riding a bike. :) Hopefully this next week I can work a few more hours. Wednesday my mom came to do some shopping and errands so I went with her and that was fun. Friday my cousin Jeff on my dad's side got married and I was able to go to the sealing. It was nice to see a few of my cousins who I hadn't seen in awhile. Friday night we went swimming again at Chris' grandparents' with Chris' cousin Paul and his wife Jess. That was really fun. I am just so thankful that I am doing so much better and able to get out and do things now. And I don't feel completely exhausted afterwards. I still have a ways to go but things are definitely much better now and I like it!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day weekend Chris had his 10 year high school reunion (I know he's so old!) haha. Friday night we dressed up and went to a place downtown called the Historic Ballroom and had appetizers and desserts and visited with his classmates. They had a slideshow with pictures and stuff too. The next day we went to a BBQ in Hansen. I think Chris enjoyed seeing everyone. There were on like 25 people in his class, and I think about 17 people showed up. That night we had a BBQ at my Aunt Bev's house because my cousin Danielle and her husband Brandt were home, and we hadn't seen them in awhile. It was really fun visiting with them. The next day we visited Chris' mom and stepmom, and then went to Burley and had dinner at my mom's. Here is a card I made on my Cricut:

This is what I woke up to on Mother's Day. I told Chris I'm not a mother, and he replied, "But you will be someday." (No this is not an announcement). I thought that was sweet. I guess that means I should do something for him on Father's Day. :)

It was a good weekend and I'm glad we were able to get out and do things. I was getting really tired and being home all the time!

And of course I have to say that I am so thankful for my mom! She is nothing short of amazing and I love her so much. I wish I could do as much for her as she does for me. I am also so lucky to have amazing mothers-in-law who are always there for us and who have raised such a wonderful man that I get to call my husband. I am truly blessed with wonderful mothers in my life!

Boise and Baptism

A couple of weeks ago my nephew Nathan was baptized and we went to Boise for it. We left Friday night and stayed the night at my brother Chad's house. We had fun with my nephews, and my mom and brother Kyler and his girlfriend Stephanie got there Friday too. The next day we just hung out and played games and such before the baptism. Later my sister Tysi and her family and my brother Kelby and his family came. The baptism was at 4 pm, and we had a delicious dinner afterwards. We stayed till about 9:00 that night and then drove home. It was fun spending time with family and I'm so glad that I was feeling well enough to go and see Nathan's baptism.

Here are some pictures of our fun times:

Here is all my family who were there. I love them!

                                       
Nathan and I after he was baptized. Isn't he so cute?

Chris and I after the baptism

 We're crazy. :) 

U of U Hospital Stay

Well I wanted to post a few pics from when I was in the hospital. There are still a few things I wanted to write down as well, just so I don't forget them. This post might be kind of random, with just certain experiences that I want to remember, not in any particular order. The first few days I was in Salt Lake we basically did a lot of waiting. They kept saying that I had a blockage, or strictures, or narrowing in my intestines. I was in tons of pain. They were trying to avoid surgery if at all possible so they were trying a lot of other things first. I saw several teams of doctors-GI doctors, GI surgeons, internal medicine doctors, general surgeons, etc. It was a little frustrating at first, because they would all want to do different things (start TPN, not start TPN, etc). Finally after a few days the GI surgeons decided they would pretty much take charge and had me moved to the surgical floor. The GI doctors also continued to follow along. 

After a few days they decided to do a sigmoidoscopy, with the purpose of trying to open up some of the narrowing and strictures. I hoped and expected to wake up feeling better, with some of the problem fixed. That did not happen. I pretty much woke up screaming in pain. I had never been in so much pain-even worse than the car ride from Logan, and remember I said that that was the worst pain I'd ever been in. The nurses in recovery obviously didn't know anything about my situation because they just kept telling me I'd feel better if I passed some of the air that was put into me during the procedure (they pump you full of air to help them see things better). I tried to tell them that I hadn't been able to pass anything, even air, in a week. My mom and Chris were in the waiting room and they wouldn't go get them-they were going to just take me back to my room. When they wheeled me past the waiting room I saw Chris and told them again them my husband was waiting for me so they went and got them. I was mad because I had been told they would be brought back and be with me when I woke up. We went back to my room and the next few hours were the most miserable I had ever experienced in my life. I just cried and cried. Chris and my mom just stood by my bed for like 3 hours. I kept saying that I couldn't handle it any more, and I really thought that I couldn't handle the pain for another minute, and then of course another minute would go by. Doctors came in and gave me pain medicine, but it didn't help a ton. I think they were afraid of giving me too much. Eventually I threw up a bunch and they gave me some medicine for nausea which eventually put me to sleep. It was a horrible experience that I never want to relive again. It was awful.

Anyway, that was one experience I wanted to write about. Here are a few pics:

Sometimes I would come back from the bathroom to find Chris in my bed.

We went on lots of walks and sometimes we would go outside, which I really liked.

This picture was taken right before I had another sigmoidoscopy, only they called it "exam under anesthesia" because they actually used general anesthesia to put me completely under, instead of just sedation. They were hoping to really find the problem and be able to clear some of the strictures (that they thought were there at the time). This time instead of using air, they used CO2, which just gets absorbed into your body and you don't have to let out, so it's a lot less painful afterwards. I was very clear that I did not want to experience what I had a couple days before, and they assured me that the CO2 would be just fine, and it was. However, they could hardly accomplish anything because of how narrowed everything was, so I still didn't have the relief from the pain that I was hoping for when I woke up.

Another day I had another sigmoidoscopy, (and they used CO2 again), which still didn't really help. Later that day I had to have a test called a barium enema x-ray. Yeah, it's as much fun as it sounds. I cried through the whole thing. Chris and my mom had to wait in a waiting room down the hall. When I was being taken back to my room the transport guy made me so upset. He was going so fast, over bumps, around corners. I had just had these two horrible procedures and was in so much pain and he was clueless. One time he seriously almost ran someone over going around a corner. My mom and Chris thought he was crazy too. In Twin the transport people slow down and warn you when there's a bump, and are really careful. I was not a happy camper.
This pic below is in the surgical ICU the day after surgery. These pictures are out of order, but oh well. I was in the ICU for 2 days. It was great fun.  I had an NG tube down my nose and all kinds of things hooked to me. I was in terrible pain the first night but they finally got it under control. I was happy to leave the ICU though.

This picture was before I had surgery, on a day when I had just showered, so I don't look too bad.

This is getting off the plane when they life flighted me to Salt Lake. That was a fun little experience. I was in a lot of pain and I remember that first night in Salt Lake it took a long time to get a nurse in my room and to get any pain medicine. I was pretty miserable.

This is one of the first days in Salt Lake. All in all I was there for 17 days. It seemed like forever. Poor Chris and my mom had to sleep on a pull out couch and a cot. Luckily though Chris' dad brought his camping trailer and parked it in the parking lot after we had been there for a few days. Then Chris and my mom took turns sleeping in the trailer. They would trade off every other night. My mom was actually just telling that she really liked that because she could sleep in a bed and get a good nights sleep, and catch up from not sleeping as well the night before, and it really helped her not get worn out or exhausted. I also was glad that I was able to have someone with me every night.

Speaking of having someone with me during the night, there was one night that I woke up and realized that my ileostomy bag was leaking. I pushed the call button and then called for Chris loud enough that he woke up. At this point my incision from my surgery was still open and they did not want it to get infected. I didn't either. In fact I was terrified that now that everything was leaking everywhere, that it was going to get infected. The nurse came and cleaned everything. When she first got there, she said, "You need to tell us when it gets full so this doesn't happen." I was mad that she said that. I was sleeping and didn't know....Anyway, I was crying, and I was so glad Chris was there. She assured me that she cleaned everything really well. It took a long time to take care of it though, it was kind of a traumatic experience. By the time we were done it was like 5 in the morning and I called my mom and wanted her to come then. I felt bad for waking her up, and even though Chris was there, I guess I needed someone else to tell me it was going to be ok too. And of course she was happy to  come. 

Well those are the main things I wanted to write down before I forgot them. I may think of more things later and add another post, but this is good for now. The University of Utah is a great hospital and I had great doctors and nurses there, even though the things I wrote didn't sound like that. I was glad that I was there and thankful for the help that I finally got. 

Big Announcement

We are moving to Spokane! I guess it's not that big of an announcement but I thought if I titled this post that, then it would make everyone read this, haha just kidding. I actually really thought I already posted this, but lots of people kept telling me they hadn't heard, and I realized that I only said that Chris had been accepted to two different graduate schools, and we hadn't decided which one we were going to go to yet. Well, after MUCH prayer, discussion, thought, etc, we decided to go to Washington State instead of Penn State. It's much closer to home, and with my health we thought that was a good reason to stay close. It's also cheaper. :) Anyway, he starts August 20, so we still have awhile, but it will be here before we know it! We will be sad to go, but also excited to have this adventure on our own.
With that, I leave you with this lovely picture of us, just for fun.

I Don't Even Know What to Say...

Well sorry it's been awhile since the last post. Remember how the next week was going to go much better than the week before?...Yeah that didn't happen. Sunday after I wrote that post I started to not feel too great. We went and ate dinner at Chris' dad's house. My stomach was vaguely hurting when we left. We were there a couple hours and it kind of just got worse. By the time we got home it was hurting a lot and I  started to cry. It wasn't the same kind of pain as when I had a blockage. I was convinced it would go away soon. I laid down and we watched a couple episodes of Saved By the Bell to keep my mind off of it. We said several prayers and Chris gave me a blessing. Chris kept asking if I wanted to go to the hospital and I really did not. Finally I told him if it wasn't improving by 10:00, then we would go. I didn't get much better so we left our house about 10:30 and went to the hospital, once again. Chris packed some stuff in case we ended up getting admitted, but I really thought they would say it wasn't a big deal and send me home. Little did I know...

They gave me stuff for pain, of course and did an x-ray, which didn't show a lot. They also did blood work which showed my white blood cell count was really high (suspicious of infection). The dr seemed pretty concerned about it so he decided to do a CT scan. During all this time they also had to come take blood, I swear 17 times (ok probably 3 or 4 but it was annoying). The CT scan showed that my abdomen was full of infection. At that point they couldn't tell if there were abscesses or what, but they knew it was bad. At this point the doctors started to act like it was something really serious and started tossing around the words "septic," "ICU," and "surgery." The got me to the ICU about 5 am, at which point Chris called my mom. The surgeon eventually came in and said I definitely needed surgery and I needed it right now. I was terrified. He had another emergency surgery he was going into, and then was planning on taking me in the next hour or two. The hospitalist on call came in and gave me a central line in my neck, which was not a pleasant experience, especially because I was still in so much pain. When my mom and dad and Chris' dad got there, the dr started talking about all the things that were wrong. He was going on about how my blood pressure was way too low, my heart rate was way too high, my white blood count was high, by now I had a fever of 101, and so on. He was talking about the surgery and how I might wake up on a ventilator. He said I was septic, and if they didn't try and take care of it, then it could turn into septic shock, which would be even worse. It was the kind of things you hear on tv, or about another patient, not what you hear about yourself. I was crying quite a bit because I was so scared. I did NOT want to go through another surgery. All I could think about was how much pain I was in when I woke up from surgery in SL, and how hard it was afterwards. I also did not want to wake up on a ventilator, if I was sedated the whole time it would be ok, but I did not want to remember it. They said if I was kept on a vent for 24 hours afterward, then by the time I woke up, I wouldn't be in so much pain, though. That was the only plus that I could see.

Anyway, the time came to say goodbye. I wiped my tears and tried to say a prayer and be calm. Freaking out would not help any. The next thing I remember was waking up that night (on a ventilator).  I think my family was there at first but then were told they had to leave. I was left with the nurse and respiratory therapist who were trying to determine if I was breathing well enough to come off the vent. I was very awake and very miserable. I had so much spit or mucous in my throat that it made it hard to breath and they kept having to suction it out every minute or so. I was so nauseated I really thought I was going to throw up even though there was a tube down my throat and that scared the heck out of me. I was sweating HOT. I finally was able to mouth to the nurse "HOT" and she took some of the blankets off, which helped a ton. I then started mouthing "ZOFRAN" to her. After several times she got what I was saying and went and got me some (it's for nausea), which also helped lots, eventually.

Here is a pic Chis took on his phone when I was still on the ventilator. He had a better one which also showed the plethora of IVs and machines I was hooked to but it somehow got deleted. My mom might have one that I'll have to post sometime. I had 3 IV poles full of stuff, plus all the monitors and machines.

They had planned on leaving me on the vent for 24 hours afterwards, but I was actually breathing room air and doing really well so they started testing me to see if they could get me off of it sooner. I think I ended up being on it for 6 or 7 hours. I am so thankful for the nurse and respiratory therapist for convincing the dr that I was doing well enough to come off of it. They kept telling me to take as deep a breath as I could, but I couldn't ever get very far because of all the mucous and spit in my throat. But the more time that went on the more anxious and agitated I got. My arms were strapped down so that I wouldn't pull at any of the tubes and that drove me nuts, mostly because I couldn't even motion to them what I wanted. A couple times the nurse and RT left to talk to the doctor to convince her to extubate me and she said no at first but eventually they convinced her. I don't think I could have handled it much longer. Once the nurse left to talk to the and I was alone, and I was still nauseated and still needed suctioning out of my mouth so I could breath better. I rang the call light, which thankfully I could reach and another nurse came in who did not understand my mouthing as well, so he got me a pen and paper and I wrote "suction" and "zofran." But soon after the first nurse came back and said they could pull the ventilator out and they did right then! It wasn't very pleasant but it only lasted a second and was over. After that my family could come back in. I was much happier.

I spent the next 4 days in the ICU (till Thursday), mostly because I had so much stuff hooked to me. But we weren't complaining because it was nice to have a nurse who was devoted to just you. I found out that I had six abscesses full of infection that they had to clean out, and they removed a few more inches of intestine that was twisted. There also was a lot of scar tissue and my bladder was scarred to my intestines. When they were separating them, it tore a hole in my bladder and the urologist had to come and repair it. He said he likes to get 3 good layers of tissue around when he does a repair, but with me, he go one good one and maybe part of another layer around the bladder. This meant that I would need a catheter for 2 weeks, and have to go home with it to make sure everything healed. I was not very happy when I found this out. After a couple days they got the blood cultures back that identified the infection I had, which is enterococcus and also some yeast. They had been given me 3 strong broad antibiotics but now they could give me the one that the infection was sensitive to.

I also woke up with a feeding tube. I don't know why but the dr started tube feeding right after surgery. Usually they wait till your bowels wake up a little. During the night the first night I started having tons of pain and they stopped the feeding tube and I felt better. It didn't make sense because I was not digesting anything (nothing was coming out of my ileostomy), but they were feeding me all this stuff. The next day they started TPN and a different tube feeding formula that is much easier digested, and did it at a very low rate, just to keep the gut functioning. Eventually after a few days we were able to work up to a higher rate and get off the TPN.

I don't think they are really sure where the infection came from. One time they would say maybe from my last surgery, but then they would say it's been too long to be from that, so I guess that's the origin of the title of this post. I don't even know what to say about the whole thing. It was really sudden, really random, and just weird.  Surprisingly though the recovery has been much easier than my last surgery, and not as painful. I was taking way less pain meds when I left the hospital this time than when I left SL. So for that I have been so thankful.

I have been home since Tuesday. Either Chis or my mom have been with me every day at home and in the hospital. I get tube feedings at night for 12 hours, which is probably a good thing. I can give myself fluid through the tube as well. I have a J-tube (jejunostomy tube), which means it goes right below my stomach into the intestine. So my stomach still feels hungry and I can eat during the day. Hopefully soon I will be eating enough on my own we won't have to do the tube feedings anymore. I can tell my appetite is getting much better already. It was a pain to go home with a catheter. The doctor was pretty clear though that he wanted it in for two weeks, which meant I would have it for about a week at home. I had an appointment on Friday though (yesterday) for a cystogram, which is an x ray where they fill your bladder with dye to make sure there are no leaks anywhere. They said if it looked good, then they would remove the catheter on Monday. I couldn't really see why they couldn't remove it Friday if it looked good on Friday, but I accepted it. So I went and did the test, which was one of the most uncomfortable things I have had done, but they said everything looked good and there were no leaks. After we were done my mom and I stopped at Wal-Mart for a few minutes and while we were there the doctor's nurse called and said since everything looked good I could come back and have it removed!! I was one happy girl. So of course we went straight back. I was getting pretty uncomfortable with it. I feel sooo much better with one less tube hanging out of me!

I am trying hard to do my physical therapy exercises, take all my meds, and eat good. I decided I really needed to make getting better a priority and put all of these things first so I can recover and get better. It sounds weird, but it's a lot of work to do everything I'm supposed to do, and I really have to talk myself into taking my medicine sometimes. My goal is to be working at least a little within a month, maybe less, I really don't know. My arm still needs some help but we're working on that too. It is getting much better though. So NOW I think I can say that things are looking better and hopefully improving for good. I once again am filled with gratitude for everyone who has helped us, brought us dinner, for all the prayers, visits, phone calls, etc. Especially for my mom who has been there every day that Chris has to work. The last couple days she cleaned our bathrooms and done laundry. She is such a support to me. Also thanks to Chris for all he has done. He and my mom have handled playing nurse pretty well, with hooking and unhooking tube feedings and catheters, etc. I don't know what I would do without them. So say a prayer that nothing else goes wrong and I can get better! I really want to feel well enough to see my nephew get baptized in Boise next weekend, and Chris has his 10 year high school reunion the next weekend after that (I know he's so old)! I am ready to start having fun and stop being sick!

Rough Week

Well this week hasn't exactly gone as I had hoped or planned, but glad it's over and things are improving again. Slowly, but surely. The week started out fine. My mom came and stayed with me Monday and I was doing pretty good. I told her she didn't need to come Tuesday and that I would be fine by myself. Tuesday morning I was feeling really good. I had even been taking less pain medicine for the last day or so. Around noon I started to feel kind of sick and get a stomach ache. I was sure it would pass soon because I had felt similar to this lots of times since the surgery, usually after eating. I laid down while I waited for it to pass, and took some pain medicine and nausea medicine. But it did not go away and just kept getting worse and worse. I fell asleep for about an hour but woke up with it still being really bad. I noticed that hardly anything had been put out from my ileostomy all day. Around 2 Chris called me on his break at work to see how I was doing and I just started crying and asked him to come home. He came home right away and stayed with me. I was in so much pain and just crying and crying. I called my mom and she said it was probably a blockage (it is really easy to get them with an ileostomy, it happened to me a couple times last time I had one) and that we should go to the ER. Chris had been asking me if I wanted to but I kept saying no, hoping it would clear on it's own. Finally I gave in and we went to the hospital. When we got there, there were several people in the waiting room of the ER and I thought we were going to have to wait a long time, but they called me back first. I think they could tell I was really sick. I was so relieved. They got an IV started on the first try (although it was right at my elbow, a terrible spot) and gave me something for pain and nausea, which made me pretty out of it (which I was ok with). My mom and little brother Kyler came. They did a CT scan and said that it looked like I had an obstruction. They said if it didn't clear it was possible I would need surgery, which scared me to death! They put an NG tube down my nose which went down my throat into my stomach (pretty miserable to have), but the idea is that it sucks things out and helps clear the obstruction, also helping with nausea and pain. They admitted me. The first night was pretty miserable. They were giving me pain medicine every hour. It was painful to move. I could only have sips of water and ice and was very thirsty. The next morning they gave me a PCA pump which controlled the pain a lot better and I started to feel lots better. By that afternoon I got up and went for a walk. The dr said if the NG tube started clearing up and putting less out then they would remove it that night or in the morning. I was getting really hungry. He let me eat a couple popsicles and they tasted so good compared to the water and ice I had been having. For dinner that night they clamped the NG tube and gave me a Full Liquid tray to eat. After a couple hours I felt fine and was not having nausea so they removed the tube around 10:30 that night. That night I slept much better and was hardly pushing the button for pain medicine. The next morning the dr said I could try a regular diet and if I felt well that night, then I could go home. I also had a pretty low red blood cell count, it was 7 and should be at least 12, so they decided to give me a blood transfusion. They also removed my staples that day on my incision, which was nice. My mom was there with me that day so Chris could go to work. I had the blood transfusion, ate regular food for lunch and dinner, was back to oral pain medicine (which I was hardly taking any of) and felt lots better so we got to go home about 6:30 that night. I was very happy it was such a short stay this time, and that there was no surgery! The dr didn't really know what caused it. He said most likely a combination of things, such as dehydration and pain medicine were likely contributors. Also just because I had had such a big surgery and was so sick going into it, a complication wasn't that out of the ordinary. Really I have been very lucky, considering how sick I was, that it wasn't worse or harder than it has been.

My mom asked if I wanted her to come stay with me Friday but I told her I would be fine by myself. I told her she could stay home for once and get some things done. Friday turned out to be a really rough day. I was so exhausted that it took so much energy to do ANYTHING. I was very emotional and kept crying over little things (such as not being able to open the container of potato soup my sister had brought us the night before). I talked to my mom and told her I was fine, but I wasn't.

I was also frustrated because I was waiting for the dr in SL to call me back. I had called them first thing in the morning because we were worried about me ileostomy. I am having a little problem with the skin being separated from it. I sent them a picture of it last week and they said to watch it, and then the next time I saw it it looked worse. The same thing happened last time I had an ileostomy, but it was all the way around it. At least this time it is just on one side. Last time the dr ended up just stitching the skin back to it and then it was fine. It happens likely due to steroids, which can compromise healing. Anyway, about 3 or 3:30 my mom texted me asking if I had heard from the dr yet, and I just picked up the phone and called her crying. I felt so alone and I guess you could say I was feeling sorry for myself. She kept offering to come see me, but I didn't really see the point when Chris would be home around 6, but finally I decided I couldn't stand to be alone any longer and so she said she would get in the car right then and come. Her and Kyler showed up about 35 to 40 minutes later. I was in bed and they both just crawled in bed with me and let me cry for awhile. Eventually I felt better and Kyler cheered me up by showing me some funny videos on You Tube of Brian Regan and the show Call of the Wild Man. My mom made me half a turkey sandwich and some lemonade. About 5:30 the dr called and told me that they weren't worried about my ileostomy and that it was normal to happen sometimes. They said if it gets to be too big of a pain then they can see me sooner than the 25th (which is when I have a follow up appointment in SL), but otherwise they would look at it then. I felt better after talking to them. I wasn't too worried about it, mostly it is just a pain to deal with. Anyway, we just sat and talked until Chris came home. My mom and Kyler left pretty soon after that. I cried some more to Chris and he just let me complain. I was feeling like I had a huge setback and was frustrated that I was so tired, that I still cannot fully use my arm, that I was feeling short of breath, even when just sitting or lying down, and was feeling lonely. He gave me a blessing and some good advice. He made me spaghetti for dinner which was the only thing that sounded good, and made a cute picture on the computer that had a monkey on it that said "Hang in there." (I should have posted the picture of it but didn't think about it)! We had a nice dinner and I was feeling lots better. Chris went to Redbox and got a movie which we watched cuddled up in our bed. It turned out to be a stupid movie, but it was nice to do just the same.

All weekend I have still felt very tired and not able to do much but sit and lay down, sit and lay down. I am getting very tired of it but am trying to be positive now. I know that I will get better. I have had a little bit of a hard time seeing my friends and family post things on their blogs and facebook that they are doing for fun, with the weather warming up and all. I have felt a little jealous. It has been 6 weeks since I have been to work. I hope I can go back soon. I know that once I get my strength back I will feel so much better and can't wait for summer and being able to do fun things again.

My mom is coming again tomorrow and I am glad. I am so thankful for her and all she has done for us. The lady that she takes care of fell right about when I went to SL, and went to a care center to get her strength back, so my mom hasn't had to worry about missing much work. It has been a blessing that she has been able to be with me so much.

Well I did not intend for this to be so long, but oh well. Here's to a better week!