Good News!

Well today we got some good news. I had the Exam Under Anesthesia today and the doctors (colorectal surgeon and uro-gynecologist) found the fistula! I was really happy because I was really afraid they wouldn't find anything, and we still wouldn't have an answer to what is going on. :)

We had to be there at 6 am and they finally took me back at about 7:35. The procedure itself was pretty quick. The colorectal surgeon went out and talked to Chris just after 8:00. I didn't really wake up until about 9:00. I stayed in recovery until about 9:50 and then they moved me to where Chris could come back and see me. I don't know why I was there for so long because they told us he could see me 30-45 minutes after it was done. I was pretty nauseated when I woke up, which seems to be pretty typical for me, so they gave me some pain meds and some phenergan. (IV pain medicine makes me nauseated too). I also had a little trouble breathing and had to wear some oxygen for awhile. Once I was feeling better then Chris got to see me. I ate some apple sauce, saltine crackers, and cranberry juice and we were home a little after 11:00 I think. I ate a sandwich when we got home and I went back to bed about 12:30 and slept clear till 4:00! haha. We didn't take any pictures, but I'm ok with that since I wasn't allowed to wear any makeup. Haha, just kidding.

Chris said that the surgeon said the fistula was pretty little, which was good news. She said it is coming from the little bit of rectum that they left after they removed my jpouch last year. This was also good news because we actually suspected it was higher up and this would make it harder to fix. She thinks that it's a good plan to go ahead with the Remicade and see if that will help it heal and come back and see her in 3 months and see where we are at. (We are trying to avoid surgery here).

I will probably have to have this rectal stump removed eventually, but it is a pretty big surgery so we won't do that yet. I feel much better about things now that we know what is wrong, and we have a plan to fix it. Chris and I fasted yesterday that this procedure would yield some answers and my mom told me she fasted for me as well. Yesterday our Relief Society lesson was on Elder Uchdorf's talk on Forget-Me-Nots, and we talked about "Forget not that the Lord loves you." I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and is answering my prayers. I start the Remicade on June 18 and am praying it will work!

The Wonders of Prednisone

For the last week and a half or so I have felt great! Unfortunately I think it is because of prednisone. It's a wonder drug. Too bad it has so many bad side effects. A couple weeks ago I saw my GI doctor. That day I had started having pain around my ribs similar to what I had had a few months ago. He said it was the costochondritis flaring. He said to put heat on it 3 times a day and if it didn't get better that he could give me some prednisone. Every time I get off prednisone I swear that I will never take it again. My face gets poofy, I crave junk food, I can't sleep, and the longer I'm on it the grumpier I get. After 3 days it was so bad I couldn't even take a deep breath, so I gave in and asked for the prednisone. It worked instantly. And not only did it help my rib pain, but everything else too. It was amazing. The pain that I'd had for for weeks and weeks was gone. Everything I ate was not running straight through me anymore. Oh it was glorious. But it was only a 12 day course so I took the last one on Monday night..... And the pain started again Monday morning. It was nice while it lasted. :)

The day I saw my GI doctor we decided to start Remicade. I've had this discussion so many times over the years and never started it, so it's kind of weird to actually be going through with it now. The hope is that it will help any inflammation that we are not seeing (and I'm convinced that there is some because I felt so good while on the prednisone), and help a fistula heal if in fact there is one. I was hesitant because I thought you shouldn't take it if you want to get pregnant, but after talking to the nurse more and reading some material that she sent me, I am not worried anymore. They have a lot of patients who take Remicade during their pregnancy.

I also had an appointment scheduled with the colorectal surgeon a few days later, to see if they can find the fistula and know how to treat it. The surgeon I saw said that I very well could have one, but she is not positive. She is going to do something called an Exam Under Anesthesia. I had this done last year when I was in the hospital in Salt Lake. Basically they put you all the way under so they can do all the looking around they want to. She said that she suspects it would take a big surgery to find and fix it, so it is probably best to try the Remicade first in an attempt to avoid surgery. But we are still going ahead with the EUA to see what she can find. I am having it done this coming Monday, as an outpatient procedure. I shouldn't have pain or anything afterwards and should be able to go to work the next day.

So we are just crossing our fingers that this procedure will be beneficial and that the Remicade will work. I start the Remicade on June 18. I will have 3 infusions 2 weeks apart, and then every 8 weeks after that. Each infusion takes just 2-3 hours. So I finally feel like we are on the right track and that I will hopefully be feeling better soon!

On a different note we had a nice Memorial Day together. I was a little sad being away from family and not being able to visit loved one's graves like I have almost every Memorial Day of my life, but Chris and I had fun together. We had a picnic, played some tennis, and went on a little hike on some trails along the side of the big hill we live on. It's my goal to get out more this summer and build up some endurance and strength!

My Mama!!

Last weekend my mom was able to fly from Boise to Spokane and come visit us for a few days!! It was so fun having her here and being able to show her around Spokane and let her see where I live. The weather and my stomach cooperated and we did lots of fun things!

I picked her up Friday morning and Chris was at work so we went shopping! That afternoon/evening we just hung out and went out to eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory-we really liked it when we went there with Chris' mom. Saturday we spent the day touring Manito Park and Riverfront Park. It was a little sad that not all the flowers were out at Manito Park, but it is still a beautiful place. My mom loved the Conservatory we showed her. Last weekend there was an 11k race that has over 50,000 runners, so Riverfront Park was full of people and vendors. We rode the ride over the Spokane Falls, rode the train around the park, rode the Carousel (you're never too old to ride the Carousel), and rode the slide down the Big Red Wagon. Then we went home and had dinner and of course, watched some Psych. The next day we went to church and just had a nice relaxing day. Monday Chris went to work again and my mom and I did a little more last minute shopping and lunch at Red Robin before I had to take her to the airport around 3:00 pm.

With Mother's Day yesterday I just want to say that I love my mom so much. She truly has always been my best friend and such a great example to me. I have seen her go through many hard things and she always stays strong and faithful. Lots of times when I make a craft, sew something, or cook something, Chris will say, "Where did you learn how to do that?" And I always respond with, "my mom taught me!" My mom is loved by many people, including several of my friends growing up. When I see them they always ask how my mom is. Now don't be jealous of me because I have the cool mom. :) My mom took care of me when I was sick and had my colon removed before I was married. My mom and no one else. She is just amazing and I am so blessed to call her my mom!

More doctors, tests, and no fun...

I should be going to sleep but I have a lot of things going through my mind so I thought I would write some of it down.....the last two weeks have definitely been hard. I have really not felt we'll and been in a lot if pain. I haven't slept and I haven't eaten very well. Pretty sure I lost the 4 pounds that I have gained in the last 6 weeks. Poor Chris has been eating frozen chimichangas for dinner all week. Now, don't take that the wrong way, Chris knows how to cook and can follow a recipe, and he make the best spaghetti around, but he has been really busy with finals. His last one is on Wednesday. Woo Hoo! We have been studying flash cards for the last couple days. :) Now I really got off topic....anyway it started almost 2 weeks ago. Monday was my day off and I woke up feeling terrible. My stomach hurt so I just stayed in bed until I absolutely needed to get up. I had an MRI scheduled and I couldn't eat for 4 hours before hand. (I actually drank a couple Ensures at 6 and 7 in the morning). The MRI was at noon. I had to drink 3 big bottles of contrast, which wasn't bad at first, but the more I drank, the worse it tasted, by the 3rd one I was starting to feel nauseated, in addition to my stomach hurting. I also had to have IV contrast, and they could not get an IV started. They were pulling out all their tricks and almost gave up when they finally got one started. I had to lay on my stomach with my arms above my head for 45 minutes. They brought me out a couple times so I could move my arms a little but. They were cramping up from being in that same uncomfortable position for so long and were sore for like 4 or 5 days after. I came home and went back to bed for 2 hours. They were trying to see what is causing my pain. A few days later I came back and showed nothing except a cyst on my ovary, which if fine and will probably go away on its own. I guess I should say that the week before I had to do a test called a Small Bowel Follow Through. You drink some barium and they take a bunch of X-rays as it moves through your system. Only I didn't drink it, they put a feeding tube down my nose and pushed the barium down the tube. It was much faster and they said doing it that way gave them a much better picture. We were looking for any fistulas but they told me right then that it didn't show anything. Even though it was good news, I was really disappointed. I was even more when the MRI didn't show anything.

Ok so I had a whole post written that somehow got deleted and only left what I wrote above, so I am going to attempt to write it again but I can't guarantee that it will be the same...

The next week on Tuesday I had a horrible night. I literally did not sleep all night. The next day I went to work because I didn't think I could find someone to work for me last minute. It was an awful day because I was so exhausted and still in pain. I went to scouts that night (Wed) and came home after only 35-40 minutes. When I got home I just cried. Chris had to help me get ready for bed. I was in so much pain. I made Chris find me some percocet that I had left over from like a year ago because the other pain medication I had was not working. It helped a ton but my GI doctor here does not want to give me narcotics because he thinks that I will get addicted. I have taken them on and off for years and never gotten addicted, obviously, if I still had some from a year ago. I called the girl I was supposed to work with the next day and she said she would be fine doing everything (Thursdays and Fridays and not nearly as crazy as the other days of the week.) It helped me to stay home and the last few days have been better. I have slept a little better as well. I just cannot function when I am so exhausted so I really love those good nights where I sleep most of the night.

I think I said this before but a fistula is an abnormal connection or tunnel between two organs, or between one loop of the intestines and another, or somewhere outside the body. I used to think you only got them from inflammation, but they can also be a result of surgery, where there is a weak spot. They can be really hard to find, and hard to heal.

I went to one doctor last week who referred me to another doctor this week who is going to refer me to a colorectal surgeon. You have to find the fistula in order to know how to treat it, and since we haven't found it yet, she said it is most likely higher up, and that the surgeons usually take care of that. At one point, my GI doctor had mentioned that if we do find one, we could use Remicade to get it to heal (an IV medication). I'm not really happy about either one. I don't want surgery, but I don't want to take Remicade because it's not good to take if you want to have a baby. And I was told we need to take care of this before I have a baby.

I went to my primary care doctor also this week because my GI wants her to manage pain medicine. She did give me some percocet that I can take when it gets really bad and that I was thankful for.

I'm still not sure what is causing all my pain but I suppose it could be the fistula. I think it could also be scar tissue because it is right along my incision where I have pain every time. According to the scope and MRI, there is no inflammation.

The night that I was really sick Chris gave me a priesthood blessing and in it he said that the Lord has placed Angels around me to help me. This really comforted me. I listened to the Mormon Message video again that I shared a few posts ago, and I love the part where President Eyering says, "The Savior has promised Angels on our left and on our right, to bear us up, and He always keeps His word." I love this part and know that it is true.

On a happier note: My mama is coming to see me tomorrow!!!!

183rd Semi-Annual General Conference

I just wanted to post about some of my favorite parts of the most recent General Conference:

Elaine S. Dalton
Recently Released General Young Women President
"Of women and mothers, President Gordon B. Hinckley once said:

“We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. … It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. … It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. …

“… They are the creators of life. They are the nurturers of children. They are the teachers of young women. They are our indispensable companions. They are our co-workers in building the kingdom of God. How great is their role, how marvelous their contribution.”

In an extremely challenging world, that is what I see young women and women of this Church doing. They are an influence for good. They are virtuous and exemplary, intelligent and industrious. They are making a difference because they are different. They are acting well their part."
I loved this talk because it is just what I needed to be more motivated to "Act well my part," and "stand as a witness of God, at all times, in all things, and in all places." I have made goals to be a better example of Christ to those around me, such as not gossiping, not judging others, only watching and listening to uplifting things, and to look for opportunities to serve others and share the gospel. I also am proud to be a DAUGHTER of God. This talk reminds me that Heavenly Father loves His daughters and their divinity and virtue. We have a divine role here in Earth. I cannot wait to be a mother and fulfill this divine role.

Elder Bruce D. Porter of the Seventy
"Brothers and sisters, we need not fear the future, nor falter in hope and good cheer, because God is with us. Among the first recorded words of counsel that Jesus gave to His newly called disciples in Galilee was the two-word admonition, “Fear not” (Luke 5:10). He repeated that counsel many times during His ministry. To His Saints in our day, the Savior has said, “Be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you” (D&C 68:6)."

"Trials may come, and we may not understand everything that happens to us or around us. But if we humbly, quietly trust in the Lord, He will give us strength and guidance in every challenge we face. When our only desire is to please Him, we will be blessed with a deep inner peace."

President Thomas S. Monson, the Prophet of our church (I love this man so much!)
"We live at a time in the world’s history when there are many difficult challenges but also great opportunities and reasons for rejoicing. There are, of course, those times when we experience disappointments, heartaches, and even tragedies in our lives. However, if we will put our trust in the Lord, He will help us through our difficulties, whatever they may be."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Quorum of the Twelve Apostle
He is referring the scripture about the man who had an afflicted child, and asked Christ if He could do anything. Jesus replied that "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." And the man replied "Lord, I believe."

"I would say to all who wish for more faith, remember this man! In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy’s affliction or this parent’s desperation is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes. It was of this very incident, this specific miracle, that Jesus said, “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”6 The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know."

"Last observation: when doubt or difficulty come, do not be afraid to ask for help. If we want it as humbly and honestly as this father did, we can get it. The scriptures phrase such earnest desire as being of “real intent,” pursued “with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God.”11 I testify that in response to that kind of importuning, God will send help from both sides of the veil to strengthen our belief."

"I know this work is God’s very truth, and I know that only at our peril would we allow doubt or devils to sway us from its path. Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe."

I know that if we have faith and do what He asks, Heavenly Father will bless us. We are still trying to figure out why I am having some stomach pain, and sometimes I am tired of having faith and being patient, but then I remember the Love of our Heavenly Father and all the countless times he has helped me in my time of need. I loved General Conference and the opportunity we have to hear the word of God, through the mouths of the prophets. It is so uplifting and comforting.

A Long Time Coming

I finally finished my quilt! I am so excited about how it turned out. This has been a long time coming. I got the material about 3-4 years ago. Cutting everything out was hard for me. I would get tired of it. I didn't feel comfortable doing it without my mom there because I was afraid of cutting something wrong. Finally a little over a year ago, I stayed with my mom for the weekend when Chris went on a snowboarding trip. I told my mom we needed to finish cutting everything out. Well, I still got tired of cutting and my mom ended up doing most of it, haha. But after that I was motivated to start sewing! I started setting everything out and actually had it all over our coffee table last year when I ended up in the hospital. It stayed sitting on the coffee table for the whole time I was gone basically. A couple months after being home I finally decided that I had the energy to work on it again. I pieced together all the squares and sewed them together last summer. I sewed most of the border on before we moved, and the most outer border just a couple weeks ago. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. Life I guess. I kind of accidentally ran onto a place that was having a major good deal on quilting so I hurried and finished it and sent it off. I got it back on Saturday and I am IN LOVE with it. Mostly I just can't believe that I did that. (Well, with some help). Neither can Chris. Haha. I still need to put binding around the edge, but that's not going to happen for a couple weeks because I need my mom to show me how. (Yes that's right, my mom is coming to visit in less then 2 weeks!) I'm going the use the same material for the binding that I used for the back. But I couldn't wait to share it because I love it so much! I love the design of the quilting. And yes, that is Chris behind the quilt, he was mad that his face couldn't be in the picture. :)

What I Love to Do

Just a few more crafts and cards that I have made lately. I am thinking of starting another blog just for things I make, but now, I will post them here.

This is the card I made for Chris on Valentine's Day this year. The front are special dates for us: We met and went on our first date on February 18, 2011. We kissed for the first time on April 8, 2011. (Please don't judge us for how long it took.) We were engaged on July 9, and married on October 7. 

Here are some other cards I have made. I like to send cards to all 20 of our nieces and nephews for their birthday. Last year I didn't do so well, but I would like to do better this year. March and April are FULL of birthdays for both of our families. So I will still be making lots of cards for awhile.

I made one of these for my sister, and one for Chris' stepmom because they also had birthdays. I think it turned out really cute! 

I am really really close to finishing my quilt that I have been working on for a year. As soon as I get more material in the mail for the back I can send it off to be quilted. So excited!